Who’s Telling Your Story?
Recently, I hosted a networking event for professional women. These are wonderful, successful women and I was excited to bring them together for an evening of conversation and networking.
It started just as I’d hoped. After some lively conversation and laughter, they naturally gathered into a standing circle — without my even asking! The energy in the room was warm and inviting. Many had never met before, so I suggested we go around and introduce ourselves.
Much to my surprise, instead of introducing themselves as the powerful, accomplished professionals I know them to be, for the most part, they described themselves in ways that were less than flattering, even self-deprecating:
“I’m not good at speaking in a group.”
“I don’t like to be the center of attention.”
“Networking is not really my thing.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I know each of these women extremely well — to a person they are capable, impressive, talented. And yet, their introductions felt underwhelming and did not come close to capturing what they had to offer.
That’s a problem. How will people know how capable we are if we are not willing to tell our own story? In a business networking event in particular — a place where introductions are the norm — we are not being a showboat when we fully share who we are and what we have done. Anything less robs others of the opportunity to know and connect with us.
What Is Executive Presence?
Over the years, I’ve conducted hundreds of 360 feedback interviews on behalf of coaching clients. Often, interviewees suggest the person they have been asked to speak about needs to “work on their executive presence.”
When I press further to understand what they mean, the answers cover a broad range: not sounding confident, not being clear, being too longwinded, not speaking up, not being polished, not being likeable or able to socialize easily. The list goes on and on.
And while executive presence can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, a key element is being able to show one’s value. There is no better place to do that than when responding to, “Tell me about yourself.”
Why Does it Matter?
Executive presence isn’t just about looking the part — it’s about owning your value and ensuring others see it, too. But if you are not confident in telling your story, someone else will do it for you. And chances are, they won’t capture your full potential.
That matters, because in leadership, perception shapes opportunity. If you introduce yourself with uncertainty or downplay your strengths, you create doubt in the minds of others.
When you speak with clarity, conviction, and authenticity — i.e., with executive presence — you command attention and respect. This is what enables you to influence, inspire, and make an impact, whether in a boardroom, a high-stakes meeting, or an informal networking event.
It’s not about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about ensuring your voice carries weight.
Three Suggestions to Improve How You Tell Your Story
#1. Prepare.
Don’t leave something as common as a self-introduction to chance. Plan it and rehearse it ahead of time.
Think about how you want to show up, what you want people to know about you, what you’re passionate about, and where you make an impact. Work on being your authentic self — not a prototype of some standard in your head. That lets people know who you are in a way that will resonate.
#2. Watch your nonverbals.
How you say something is just as important as the words you use.
So, when you speak, ask yourself, “What is my speaking style and body language conveying right now?” To the extent there is a disconnect between your words and your delivery, people will trust the latter.
Stand tall and use a steady, confident tone (you can practice this, too). After all, nobody knows your story better than YOU!
#3. Pay close attention.
Effective storytelling isn’t just about what you say — it’s also about how you engage with others.
Pay attention to how people react when you introduce yourself. Are they curious? Do they ask follow-up questions?
Over time, work to fine-tune your message based on the interests and needs of others, so your story resonates.
Style And Substance
It can be tempting to dismiss executive presence as a superficial distraction. After all, if we do good work, why should we be judged based on how we come across?
The answer is that humans respond at least as strongly to subjective cues as they do to objective information and results. Especially when we first encounter others, we make strong judgments about who they are and what they are capable of.
By improving our executive presence, we increase our ability to influence and contribute.