Awareness is Just the Starting Point

I love my HP printer. The print quality is great. The color is sharp. The cartridges seem to last forever.

So, when the “ink/toner low” warning starts flashing, I do what any busy business owner would do… I ignore it.

It must be premature, I tell myself. There’s still time. And usually, there is. But, as I found out recently, not always.

Because last week, just as I was heading out the door to facilitate a team workshop, I realized I needed a few last-minute handouts. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s the day my printer finally decided to start telling the truth.

It was completely out of ink and I had no backup cartridges. After a lot of teeth gnashing, I had to ask my client to print the materials when I arrived — absolutely not my style!

Warning Lights Are Not Fixes

By the time I’m brought in to work with a senior leader, there’s a very good chance they’ve already received plenty of feedback over the course of their career. Assessments, 360s, direct conversations… they know where the gaps are and are well aware which behaviors undercut their impact.

But knowing is not the same as ordering the ink cartridge.

For example, my client Evan is steady, thoughtful, and widely appreciated. But as an Enneagram 9 leader, conflict, even just a difference of opinion, is uncomfortable for him. He’s well aware that avoiding hard conversations is quietly eroding his credibility.

During a recent coaching session, we prepared for a feedback conversation with a team member whose repeated errors were affecting the reputation and output of Evan’s team. We mapped it all out: state the facts, explain the impact, agree on a clear plan.

Then the moment came. The conversation started strong — facts were discussed and context was explored. But when it was time to name the impact and set a firm expectation, Evan hesitated. He softened his feedback and reassured instead of holding his direct report accountable.

The employee left without clarity. Evan left knowing the problem would likely continue. He even said to me afterward: “I knew I was avoiding the conflict while I was doing it.”

That’s self-awareness. But awareness doesn’t change the outcome. For Evan, growth requires tolerating discomfort long enough to change his pattern and say the hard truths.

Why Changing Your Pattern Matters

Leadership requires change. Not change in other people — change in ourselves.

We all fall into familiar loops. Default behaviors that feel natural, even justified. And while the Enneagram helps us see those patterns more clearly, over time, we may begin to view them as fixed. This is just who I am.

But none of this is written in stone. With awareness comes choice and the opportunity to respond differently (even though it can feel counterintuitive at first). But it only happens if we are willing to risk the change. 

How to Turn Awareness into Change

Pick one pattern.

It isn’t necessary to overhaul your entire personality; identify one recurring pattern that limits your impact. For Evan, it was avoiding conflict. For others, it might be relaxing the need to be right, setting a boundary, or listening instead of charging in with your opinion. Ask yourself: Where does my pattern cost the team most right now?

Identify a small replacement behavior.

Instead of trying to eliminate a habit, replace it with something more constructive. Try to figure out what is needed to build a new skill.

For example, if you struggle with assertiveness and have an important meeting coming, prepare in advance. Ask yourself, “What do I really think?" and “What do I really want my team to do?" Then practice saying it clearly. 

Enlist support and accountability.

Tell a trusted colleague what you’re working on and give them permission to give honest feedback on what they see — the progress you’re making and where you need to keep trying.

Private insights don’t always lead to public change. Real-time feedback often accelerates growth. 

Understand your “why.”

For lasting change to occur, you need to know what’s driving the pattern in the first place.

The Enneagram reveals the unconscious thinking, feeling, and reacting beneath your behavior and the motivations shaping your responses. It’s a map to self-discovery that widens your lens, so you can see what’s driving you and how it impacts your leadership. 

Knowing Your Pattern is Insight. Changing Your Pattern is Leadership

Growth begins the moment you interrupt the pattern. Leadership is built on what you do next.

Speaking of which, I plan to take those “low toner” warnings more seriously in the future!