The Case for Optimism

"If you were allowed one wish for your child, seriously consider wishing him or her optimism."
~ Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

Several years ago, my husband John and I began looking for a smaller home in our favorite town, West Chester, PA. We lived there when we first got married (before moving to the farm), and we loved the idea of returning to a lively, walkable county seat. We missed the coffee shops and parks, farmers’ markets and front porches, and the chance encounters with familiar faces and neighbors.

One morning, while scrolling through online listings, I stumbled upon an adorable bungalow and asked our realtor if we could see it that day. It sat directly across from a beautiful park, with big windows that looked out over the entrance, and had a lovely backyard. It just felt right — I could already imagine living there.

John did not share my enthusiasm! (He’s an Enneagram 6.) Because while I was focused on the feeling of the house and what could be, he immediately noticed what might be a problem. He pointed out the lower ceilings on the second floor, the lack of off-street parking, and the awkward kitchen layout.

It didn’t take long for our disagreement not to matter. While I was away on work travel, the house was sold to another family. I was devastated.

Fast forward a few months, and we found a better house half a block away — one that wasn't even on the market yet. As we toured it, the contrast became clear. The first house had charm, but this one had charm plus ten-foot ceilings, better parking, better construction, and space that truly suited how we live. Happily, what initially felt like a huge loss wasn’t the end of the story.

And that’s what optimism looks like in real life: noticing what’s possible, especially after disappointment.

Why Optimism Matters

Whenever I talk about optimism, I can almost predict the eye rolls. Someone inevitably says, “Being Pollyanna isn’t realistic.” I agree. Blind positivity isn’t helpful. But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

The kind of optimism I encourage is grounded in reality. It acknowledges disappointment and difficulty, but it has a future focus toward what’s possible when plans fall apart. At its core, optimism is positive expectations for the future paired with action. It’s the belief that effort matters and that what we do next can influence what happens next.

In my work with leaders, the difference optimism makes is unmistakable. When inevitable challenges hit — a delayed FDA approval, a product recall, a sudden market shift, the loss of a key leader — optimistic leaders don’t freeze or catastrophize. They’re emotionally honest about the disappointment, but they quickly shift the conversation toward learning, options, and next steps.

A helpful way to understand optimism is to contrast it with the three P’s of pessimism: Permanence, Pervasiveness, and Personalization. When optimism is low, setbacks turn into “This will never change,” “Everything is going wrong,” or “This is my fault.” Optimism interrupts that spiral by helping leaders see challenges as temporary and specific, not permanent or defining.

I bet you’ve experienced the differences yourself. We’ve all worked with leaders who help people get unstuck, motivate action when progress stalls, and focus attention on what’s still possible rather than what’s wrong. And we’ve all worked with (or for) the Debbie Downer, who finds flaws in every solution, magnifies problems, and throws a wet blanket on ideas.

One makes you want to contribute more. The other makes you pull back.

How to Build Optimism

While some leaders are naturally more optimistic than others, all leaders can strengthen this skill. The practices below are simple ways to get started…

Practice a future focus.

Intentionally imagine a positive and realistic future — along with the effort it will take to get there. The Best Possible Future Self exercise involves picturing yourself in the future, having worked through current challenges and achieved key goals. I credit this exercise as the catalyst for both starting my own company and moving to our new house. It helped me see what was possible and desirable before I figured out how to get there.

Celebrate wins — even small ones.

Optimism grows when progress is visible. One simple practice we use at Thrive is sharing a weekly “win of the week,” even if small. Something as simple as “our new Thrive journals are back in stock” reinforces forward movement and reminds the team that our efforts are paying off. Over time, we focus consistently on what’s working instead of what’s missing.

Invite new ideas and help them improve.

Hear people out and resist the urge to judge or squelch new ideas right away.Instead, help to incubate new ideas with genuine curiosity and open-ended questions like, “What problem are you trying to solve?” or “What would make this stronger?”

Interrupt negative self-talk.

Optimism is the ability to stop thinking or saying destructive things about yourself and the world, especially during personal setbacks. Some coaching clients find it helpful to create a physical interruption, such as snapping a rubber band on their wrist, splashing cold water on their face, or pounding their hand on the table and saying, “Stop!”

Practice seeing the opportunities in challenges.

Optimism doesn’t ignore difficulty, but it looks for ways to take positive action. Try writing a challenge down and intentionally reframing it by asking, “What can I learn here? What options do I still have? What might make this possible?” This simple practice shifts attention from paralysis to problem-solving and gives leaders agency.

Be intentional about showing appreciation.

Our brains are wired to focus on problems; it’s easier to remember what went wrong than what went right. That’s why staying optimistic can be hard. Leaders who consistently express appreciation by highlighting effort, recognizing contribution, and acknowledging progress, can counteract this natural negativity bias. A simple gratitude practice, like noting three things that went well each day, helps build a more balanced and hopeful outlook over time.

Optimism is a Daily Habit

Optimistic people are generally happier, more successful, manage stress better, and live longer. In a work environment, optimism helps leaders move through setbacks, sustain energy, and focus teams on what can be done next.

None of this is about pretending everything is fine — it’s about choosing forward motion, even when the path looks to be a little bit bumpy.