Belonging

The most powerful force on your team

Early in my career, I was lucky enough to work on an incredible sales team led by a fantastic leader named Jeff. I was selling lab instruments and reagents back in the days of suits, company cars, and sales stack rankings. I loved every minute of it.

Our team was made up of solid individual contributors, each driven to win. But Jeff did something unusual for a sales team: he made sure each person felt seen and valued — not just for what they achieved, but for who they were. As a result, he transformed a group of would-be competitors into teammates who shared ideas, celebrated wins, and helped one another achieve both individual goals and team success.

One year, the company launched a game-changing lab test; every sales region in the country was competing to be the top team. Jeff brought our team together and asked a simple question: How do we outperform everyone else?

The winning idea was unexpected! We bought a piranha, named it Vic (male or female… who’s to say?), and gave it a home in Jeff’s office in Annapolis. Every time someone sold a test, Jeff emailed the team a picture of himself feeding Vic, along with a congratulatory note to the sales rep. He even had team t-shirts made with Vic’s image and the slogan “Keep Vic Alive!” printed across the front.

What started as a quirky idea became a powerful symbol. We weren’t just selling anymore — we were in it for the goal, for each other, for Vic. Despite strong individual financial incentives, we felt and operated like an inspired team. Each of us knew we belonged. (Amazingly, we won the sales contest!)

Why a Sense of Belonging Matters

When team members feel a sense of belonging, they not only trust that their efforts are recognized and appreciated, but they also feel understood and accepted for who they are. Taken together, that makes them more likely to share their ideas and concerns openly, take calculated risks, gain buy-in, and support each other’s success.

A sense of belonging has nothing to do with compensation, markets, or product lines — something that is great news for leaders everywhere. Because while you may have little influence over those things, you have significant influence over how you make people feel.

Still, establishing and maintaining a sense of belonging isn’t easy; it can be surprisingly fragile. Even small signals of indifference, exclusion, rejection, or favoritism can quickly undermine it. These moments often show up in subtle ways: ideas dismissed too quickly, a small subgroup getting together after a meeting, or the same few voices being asked for input.

Over time, if the need to belong isn’t met, people begin to pull back. They share less information, take fewer risks, and seek to protect themselves rather than contribute to the team. Gradually, the behaviors that help teams thrive and excel begin to fade away.

And the worst thing about a loss of belonging? While people may not leave right away, the best parts of what they could contribute often do. That is a terrible waste.

How Belonging is Built

Belonging isn’t created through programs or perks. Instead, it’s built by everyday leadership behaviors that send the message: I see you and I value you.

Here are a few suggestions to make that happen with your team…

Connect on a Human Level

Instead of compartmentalizing work and “life,” build in opportunities to help your team connect more deeply on an individual level. Find times for casual conversations and be on the lookout for things your colleagues care about(hobbies, trips, restaurants, etc.).

Ask questions to draw them out. Who are they outside of their job title? What do they value? What energizes them?

Look Beyond Zoom

Virtual meetings are necessary and efficient, but they limit human connection. Reading body language, having spontaneous “water cooler” conversations, and sharing experiences face-to-face, all act to strengthen relationships in ways that don’t happen through a screen.

It’s not necessary to fly the team to exotic or expensive places, either. Even occasional in-person time — meeting for coffee, office lunch meetings, dinner at a local pizza shop — can deepen connections.

Look for opportunities that feel right for your team in particular. When the “Vic team” won the award for top performance, we used the award money to take everyone whitewater rafting. Now that was a real team-building experience!

Schedule Team Offsites

Designed well, team offsites help people better understand each other’s motivations, strengths, and challenges. Many teams find it helpful to use frameworks that spark these conversations, such as the Enneagram, CliftonStrengths 34, or other team development models. The goal isn’t the tool itself; it’s the conversations that happen when exploring these topics together.

For example, some members instinctively push for action and impact, while others need time to process, ask questions, and surface concerns. Once teams realize we don’t all see the world the same way — or need the same things — empathy naturally grows.

Instead of feeling frustrated by differences, team offsites give people the time and space to recognize the value each approach brings to the table. This allows for greater acceptance, an essential ingredient in belonging.

Belonging Starts with the Leader

Vic the piranha wasn’t really the reason our sales team performed so well… it was the environment our manager, Jeff, created.

We felt seen. We felt valued. Most of all, we felt that we belonged.