Facetime: The Key to Better Teams

Company offsites are one of my favorite activities to facilitate. Focused, high-energy, invariably eye-opening and generally productive, offsites are a great way to reinforce relationships and move a team forward.

Last week, I had the opportunity to work with a senior leadership team at its quarterly meeting. I have worked with this group before and I love both the people and the way they work together.

For example, at one point, when one of the team leaders asked for a timeout to air a concern, everyone gave him the space to get his thoughts out. They then paused to consider what he said before playing it back to him and responding.

OMG, I practically stood up and applauded. That’s how you do it!
 
That’s just one example. “Good” teams share other characteristics in common. They…

Say hard things respectfully

  • Call out concerns during team meetings

  • Risk conflict

  • Put their phones away

  • Don’t have sidebar conversations during meetings

  • Give each other the benefit of the doubt

  • Are aligned around a common goal and row in the same direction behind a leader they believe in

As for the “bad” teams (I see those too), much of what they do is the opposite:

People get offended easily

  • Risks are not taken

  • Body language is negative (smirks, eyerolls, etc.)

  • There’s a lot of multitasking

  • The stronger personalities overcontribute; others respond by not saying hard things or by keeping quiet entirely

But it’s not always overt.What I find especially interesting with bad teams is that in many cases, if you were to sit in on one of their meetings, they would look like a high-functioning team — people would be respectful and appear to listen and agree with one another.

But behind the scenes…

  • Small groups get together and complain

  • Problems fester and remain hidden

  • Factions form among “friends” while others become part of the infamous “out group”

  • Individuals scheme to protect the “territory” of their department and resources

Not surprisingly, companies with good teams are much more productive, much more profitable, and much more pleasant places to work. So, assuming these are all things you want for your team, what can you as a leader do to move in that direction?

This is an oversimplification of a complicated challenge, but I do have one strong suggestion: Spend more in-person time together.

The Value of In-Person Time

Among all the teams I have worked with, the ones that jell best are those that spend face-to-face time together — and not just in a work setting.
 
That makes intuitive sense, of course. Time together helps us see others as three-dimensional people as opposed to simply “The VP of Department X.” It helps lessen biases we may have about others — whether based on age, sex, race, position within the company, or whatever.

And it increases trust, too. It’s much harder to treat someone badly who handed you a hotdog at the company picnic yesterday. Facetime helps build a team culture, some inside jokes, and an overall ease of being together. 

Get Out of the Office

Your offsite time together does not require staging an elaborate retreat to Bora Bora! The key is to establish a rhythm of intentional, in-person time as a leadership team.
 
Many of the teams I work with schedule quarterly offsites to reconnect and realign. These gatherings create space for meaningful conversations about what’s working, what’s not, and why. As trust develops and good intentions are assumed, it becomes easier to risk conflict by saying what needs to be said. That allows for putting egos aside and resolving things optimally.

Offsites also foster active problem-solving, brainstorming, and trust-building in ways that virtual meetings simply can’t replicate. Whether it’s a full-day session or just a few focused hours, this time is an investment in collaboration, clarity, and team cohesion.

Don’t Forget the Enneagram

The highest functioning teams have made the effort to work on themselves as individuals and have invested time understanding those around them — what they offer, what they need to thrive, and the triggers that bring out the worst in them.
 
For example, let’s say Suzanne is a Type 8 leader with a real disdain for a lot of detail. Her unspoken request is “Just get to the point.” So, when her colleagues bring her information, it helps to do so in bullet format. Giving her a binder of documentation, on the other hand, is sure to get a sideways glance at best, or a total unwillingness to engage on the topic, at worst.

As the Enneagram highlights, we each need certain things to function at our best. By uncovering each person’s constellation of strengths, motivations, and triggers, we allow for empathy, understanding, and a sense of humor about minor annoyances. It’s understood that while no one on the team is perfect, each person brings something beneficial.
 
And who wouldn’t want to be part of a team like that?!

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