4 Tips for Boosting Your Listening Power
As much as leaders say they want to listen to employees, it can be challenging. Internal noise often prevents leaders from really understanding what is being said. This is because the human mind is often cluttered with competing demands and distracting thoughts.
One leader, “Melissa” described how she became aware of her pseudo-listening habit. She admitted that she tried to look like she was listening in meetings and one-on-ones by maintaining eye contact and avoiding checking her phone. Nevertheless, she found herself simply waiting her turn to talk. Her mind was running through what to say next. The results? Frequent miscommunication. Colleagues and direct reports talked past her while assuming they had been heard.
STRENGTHENING THE LISTENING MUSCLE
Surface-level listening is a recipe for dangerous misunderstandings. However, with practice and discipline, listening is a learnable skill. Here are four ways to boost your listening power:
1. ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS.
Open-ended questions are helpful in engaging people in dialogue. For example, “Tell me about how you’re approaching this” or “What’s the next step?” These questions will give you information to better formulate your thoughtful response.
Be sure to watch the tone of your questions. Remember to be curious, not interrogating! A judgmental tone will shut down a conversation quickly.
2. CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING.
One way is to summarize what you’re hearing in your own words occasionally. For example, you might say, “I want to ensure that I understand what you’re telling me. I’m hearing that…” Another good sentence stem for gaining clarity is “Tell me more about...” These phrases help employees unpack their perspectives as well as reality-test your assumptions.
3. DELIBERATELY SHIFT FOCUS TO THE OTHER PERSON.
Keep an eye on your ego. Let go of any need to be right, prove your expertise, or defend your perspective. Instead, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about how they might see the issue from another angle. Pay attention to their tone, facial expressions, and body language cues that can provide additional insight into what they’re saying.
4. RESIST THE URGE TO JUMP AHEAD.
This recommendation is two-fold. First, don’t interrupt or finish the person’s sentences. Interrupting can be dismissive, even if this impulse stems from your passion for the topic.
Second, tame your advice monster and hear the person out. Holding off on providing an immediate solution gives the other person more space to think. As a bonus, you will likely get more information to guide their growth and development.
ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME
As a busy leader, intentional listening may be challenging, but worthwhile. If you want to become a trusted, respected, well-informed leader with an empowered, talented team, then strengthening the skill of active listening is a top priority!
Author: Cathleen Swody