One and Done Never Works!

Why real leadership growth takes time

Last fall, my good friend Margaret asked if John and I would like to join her and her husband on a mountain biking weekend in Maine. Without a second thought, my answer was, “How fun! Absolutely.”

What’s not to like? Seeing friends from California whom I rarely see in person; spending an October weekend in Maine (foliage!); getting away with my husband. All good things.

Although… I did leave one teeny-tiny thing out of the equation: I had never ridden a mountain bike before.

Unfortunately (you probably saw this coming), it did not go well. Our friends had the right gear, the right skills, and years of practice. I had... enthusiasm. I quickly found myself winded and frustrated.

It was a humbling reminder: Optimism alone doesn’t make you an expert. Even basic competence requires preparation, instruction, and practice.

Leadership Takes Time

I see similar challenges in leadership development. Nobody becomes proficient after one workshop, one assessment, or one coaching session.

Like any skill — cooking, driving, parenting, mountain biking — once is not enough. Leadership is a muscle, strengthened through practice with different people in different situations.

That’s why awareness alone doesn’t move the needle. Walking out of a workshop with fresh insights feels powerful, yet without applying them in real conversations and decisions — testing and adjusting in the unpredictable reality of leading people — those lessons quickly fade.

And it’s about more than just skill. Over time, practice builds confidence, fluency, and the kind of automatic responses leaders need in real-time moments.

At its core, leadership is a collection of habits: how you listen, how you respond under pressure, how you approach conflict, how you make decisions. Those habits don’t form overnight; they require consistency, feedback, and time.

The reward for sticking with the work is transformation. Old defaults get rewired into intentional choices and leadership becomes less about effort and more about who you are every day.

How to Get Started

Reflect

Leadership growth begins with making time to pause. Reflection allows leaders to look back at experiences — good and bad — and ask:

What is already working well?
What is not working well?
What tends to get in the way of my leadership effectiveness?

Reflection shines a light on where efforts are misplaced. Without reflection, growth stays shallow because you miss the chance to extract the lesson from the experience.

See Yourself Clearly

Optimism got me on the bike, but it didn’t get me down the trail.

Likewise, leaders must face the gap between how they think they show up and how others actually experience them. That kind of honesty is the launchpad for growth.

There are many ways to raise self-awareness. I encourage the leaders I work with to take some self-assessments around their strengths, their EQ skills, and (especially) encourage them to identify and learn about their Enneagram type, to better understand what motivates their behavior and where they might be running on autopilot.

Beyond self-assessments, 360-feedback from other people shines a bright light on both.

Make a Plan (and Focus It)

Once you know where you want to grow, don’t stop there! Take the next step by setting a clear development goal. Keep it simple by choosing one skill to focus on at a time. Maybe it’s showing more empathy, speaking up with confidence, tackling problems with fresh ideas, or holding people accountable.

Identify a few practical ways to practice that skill and ask yourself: What kind of support will help me stay on track? (Have I mentioned coaching? 😊) You might also enlist a trusted colleague, mentor, or manager to provide encouragement, accountability, and feedback.

For example, in my own life, I’ve noticed my optimism can sometimes outpace my reality-testing (kind of like saying yes to a mountain biking weekend without ever having ridden a mountain bike). These days, I’m learning to slow down by asking more questions and making fewer assumptions, especially by checking in with colleagues before moving forward.

Build in Milestones

The best plans don’t happen all at once — they build through small, intentional steps. So break your goal into milestones. That makes progress feel doable and motivating.

For example, if you want to give feedback more often, commit to trying it once this week, twice next week, and three times the week after. Each step forward is a win, and those wins create momentum.

Here as well, sharing those small goals with a coach, mentor, or colleague not only keeps you accountable but also makes the process more encouraging — and more fun.

Whatever you choose, the more you practice, the more natural it becomes.Eventually, it will shift from effort to habit. 

Growth is a Process

One and done never works — not in mountain biking and not in leadership development.

But with the right support and consistency, leaders can grow in ways that last, impacting not just themselves, but their teams and organizations as well.

P.S. Feel free to wear a helmet!